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How To Curl A Yeti’s Hair

So here it is: scientists in Russia have dramatically declared they are close to tracking down the elusive Yeti and proving its existence once and for all. Additional evidence comes in the form of increased sightings and encounters in the Russian wilderness. Many are gathering this week to begin an expedition with the hopes of tracking down the Yeti once and for all. Is it a hoax, or the beginning days of a great discovery? Only time will tell…

These scientists believe the Yeti are our ancestors, Neanderthals who somehow managed to survive. I always imagined the Yeti to be mysterious creatures from another world, left behind or in hiding in our world trying to get home. But maybe that’s just me…

Yeti (colour) 1000
original artwork by David Litchfield

When thinking about the potential existence of giant humanoid creatures covered completely in hair, the first images that pop into my head are: the wampa snow monster from Star Wars followed shortly by the abominable snowman from the 1964 version of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Then, naturally, I think of all that hair.

These hairy creatures have likely gone decades, centuries even without brushing or washing their hair. The Yeti’s must have terrible hair related woes. Some are discussing how Yeti’s would fit into modern society. That’s a whole other discussion, what I want to know is how we could help them sort out that crazy wild man/woman hair.

How to Curl a Yeti’s Hair (3 Tips)

If I were a Yeti, the hands down best hair technique would have to be to go for curls. But how to curl Yeti hair? There are a few obstacles. The main obstacle is they live in the wilderness thus, no access to power. So… it’s Curlformers hair curlers to the rescue!

1) You’ll have to get that hair clean. Bring a comb or create one out of branches. You can use natural conditioners – try smashing a banana with grapeseed oil and leaving on the hair for around thirty minutes, then wash out with water. Comb the hair out as best you can.

2) You’ll need a styling hook. If you’ve gotten into the deep wilderness and forgotten you’re hook don’t panic! Just get your hands on a stick, but choose one with a curled tip to help direct the hair. You’ll need this to set the curl former around that long yeti hair. Note: obviously the Curlformers hook is ideal, but if we’ve trekked for days through the wilderness to reach the yeti it’s not entirely practical to turn around and go back!

3) Apply curl formers. You may need the hand of a fellow yeti to help here as the Yeti are known for being quite tall (as much as 7 feet!). If not, get a Yeti to boost you onto a tree branch or find somewhere to stand and begin by separating the hair into manageable clumps.  Use the stick or styling hook to feed hair through the curl former. The best way is to start at the back of the head (or body) and work forward). Continue until all hair is inside a curl former and let dry.

The result? Beautiful, glossy curly Yeti hair! The wilds of Russia won’t know what hit ‘em.

 Kimberley Newey is a web copywriter and an imaginative script writer for comics and films. It has taken her many years to learn how to curl hair on her own head and she hopes she’s never looked like a yeti.

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